Stronger Than I Am
by Cole's Angel
Summary: Phoebe and Cole were together, and even had a little girl. But after Cole left, Phoebe realizes she can learn a few things from her own daughter. Song used is Lee Ann Womack's "Stronger Than I Am" First chapter is Phoebe's POV. DUE TO POPULAR DEMAND T
1. Explanation

He left a year ago. I still try to figure out why. Yes, we had an argument, but it was stupid, petty, pointless. I can still remember our exact words as if it happened yesterday.  
  
"I thought I could trust you, Cole!"  
  
"You could! You have to understand why I did what I did. I did it to protect you."  
  
"You stripped your powers six months ago. You just decided you needed them back again? For what, Cole?"  
  
"For you! God, Phoebe, can't you understand that I did this to protect you? You! I wasn't thinking of me, I was thinking of you!"  
  
"Jesus Christ, Cole, keep your voice down, you're going to wake Delia up!"  
  
"Fine, if you can't trust me, then this will never work. I'm leaving."  
  
Things haven't changed much  
It's all pretty much the same stuff day after day  
The only thing that keeps me goin'  
Is our baby girl I'm trying to raise  
She's my life my morning angel  
Always seems to find the rainbow after the rain  
Lately she's so busy growin'  
I don't even think she knows you've gone away  
  
She may not have noticed, Cole, but I do. I should have believed you. You love me, I know you do. I don't know why I didn't trust you. If I could just have your arms around me one more time, tell you that I love you one more time...God, if I just had one more chance. I would say that I'm sorry.  
  
I watch Delia grow up, wishing that her daddy could be here to see it. There's so much she can do. She can walk, she can sleep at night without me having to get up at 3 in the morning, and she can even say little words, like hello, goodbye, and mama. But you know what her first word was? "Dada." She's just like me. She wants you around. But she doesn't cry every night like I do. She doesn't regret what happened a year ago like I do. I hate to admit it, but she's a lot stronger than I am.  
  
She finally learned to say goodbye  
She's sleepin' through the night  
She don't wake up cryin'  
And she's walkin' on her own  
She don't need no one holdin' to her hand  
And I hate to admit she's stronger than I am  
  
People ask me where you are all the time. I tell them you're away on business. Only because I think you'll come back eventually. Whether it be tomorrow, next week, next year, or even 50 years from now. I believe that you'll come back. It's hard. But you wouldn't know. You're not here. I need you here, but you're not here. I need you to wipe away the tears. I need you to pick me up when I fall. And keep away the pressure that makes me fall. It's so much easier for Delia. She falls when she takes her first few steps, cries a while, then gets back up. I take a few steps, fall, and stay there, because I don't have the strength to get back up. i don't have a reason to. There's a lot of things she ca teach me, I guess.  
  
She says she loves you. But she goes on like nothing's different. Sometimes she goes around the house, looking for you. But she'll never find you. Because you're not here. She's forgiven you, and so have I. The only thing I have to do is forgive myself.  
  
She ain't crackin' under pressure  
First one step and then another she goes along  
If she falls and skins her knee  
She cries a while and smiles at me and just goes on  
So many things that she can teach me  
Full of life and so completely innocent  
She still says she loves her daddy  
Goes on just like nothin' happened  
Forgives and forgets  
  
She's growing up, and you're not here to see it. She looks like you, with the brown hair and green eyes. There's a lot in her that reminds me of you. She's strong. just like you. I wish I could be that strong.  
  
She finally learned to say goodbye  
She's sleepin' through the night  
She don't wake up cryin'  
And she's walkin' on her own  
She don't need no one holdin' to her hand  
And I hate to admit she's stronger than I am  
  
So I'm just waiting for you to come back. So I can explain everything and say I'm sorry.  
  
  
She's just like her old man  
Stronger than I am  
  
::doorbell::  



	2. Mistakes Corrected

BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN ASKED TO CONTINUE THIS STORY, I DECIDED TO ADD ANOTHER CHAPTER. I GUESS IT WAS KIND OF MEAN TO LEAVE YOU GUYS LIKE THAT, BUT IT GOT YOU TO READ THIS ONE, RIGHT?  
  
~So I'm just waiting for you to come back. So I can explain everything and say I'm sorry.  
  
::doorbell::~  
  
Phoebe jumped at the sound of the doorbell. She closed her journal and cautiously went to the door. 'Maybe Cole came back for me,' she thought.  
  
When she reached the door, she opened it...hoping, wishing that Cole would be there.  
  
"Hey, Phoebe," her sister, Piper, said.  
  
"Hey, come on in," she replied, disappointment evident in her voice. "Hi, Melinda." She picked up her niece as Piper took off her coat and sat down in the living room.  
  
Piper looked at the stand next to the couch. She saw four pictures: one of herself, one of Prue, one of the three sisters together, and one of Cole. Phoebe saw Piper looking, walked over, and placed Cole's picture face down.  
  
"Phoebe, we talked about this. He will come back."  
  
"You can't be sure of that. I mean, all I wanted was to find out the truth of why he did what he did, you know? Why he--"  
  
"Why he asked the Source to bring his powers back so he could protect you? There's no truth to find. He did it to protect you and Delia."  
  
"I know, and I understand that, now. But I can't tell him that if he's not here. You haven't talked to him lately, have you?"  
  
"Actually," Piper said, "I have. He's thinking about coming back. But don't try to find him, Phoebe. It just might ruin your hopes of getting him back."  
  
"I know. I need him, Piper." Phoebe was crying in her sister's arms.  
  
"I know you do."  
************************************************************************  
The mail fell through the slot at the same time it always did. Phoebe ran over and picked it up, not really looking for anything in particular.  
  
"Bill...bill...junk...credit card that I don't need..." Her eyes stopped on a cream white envelope. It was addressed to her in a fancy writing that she was positive didn't belong to one of her sisters. Curious, she opened it to find an invitation:  
"You are cordially invited to the wedding of  
  
Prudence Halliwell  
and  
Bane Jessup  
  
on the fifteenth day of July, 2007"  
  
She also found a note in the envelope, written by Prue for her.  
"Sis,  
I hope you don't mind, but I didn't invite Cole. I know how much you want to find him, but right now, none of us knows where he is. Not even Piper, even though she talks to him a lot. I really hope you can come, because I need both of my sisters here. Our wedding is in Seattle, and it's going to be much like yours and Cole's was. I know it may be hard for you to be here, but please come. Call me.  
Love Always,  
Prue"  
  
Phoebe collapsed on the couch in a fit of tears. 'I get to relive my wedding,' she thought. Because it was her sister, she knew she had to go. Two years since he left...two years.  
  
"Momma?" Phoebe lifted her head at the sound of her daughter's voice. "Why crying?"  
  
Phoebe lifted Delia up onto her lap. "Because I'm happy, honey. Aunt Prue is getting married," she said with a forced smile.  
  
"Daddy come?"  
  
"No, honey, Daddy not come. Come on, why don't we get you dressed so we can go see Aunt Prue? You get to ride on a plane!"  
  
"Yay!" Delia ran up the stairs to her room. She came back down wearing a yellow sunflower-printed sun dress and a straw hat. After all, it was the beginning of July. Phoebe loaded Delia into the car and drove to the airport.  
*************************************************************************************************  
"Aunt Prue!" Delia said as Prue threw open the door.  
  
"Leah!" Prue scooped Delia up into a big hug. She handed her to bane, who gave her a big kiss on the cheek.  
  
"How's my favorite girl?" he asked her.  
  
"Hey, she's your favorite girl now?" Prue asked, playfully.  
  
"She's my favorite baby girl."  
  
"You guys funny," Delia said with a laugh.  
  
"Okay, sis, so, all the arrangements have been made. You're staying in this house that I'm renting out just for the week. I got a bargain on it. The landlady said that the owner hasn't been back for nearly two years. It's so pretty. Come on, we'll go now so you can put all your stuff there."  
  
They drove to the house, located on Cherry Street. Prue wasn't exaggerating. The house was white brick with towers and gorgeous chandeliers in the dining room, living room, and kitchen. It had 9 bedrooms, each containing a full bathroom, and a sitting room filled with antique furniture.  
  
"You said the owner hasn't been back? Why wouldn't you want to come back to a gorgeous place like this?" Phoebe asked.  
"I have no idea," Prue replied.  
*************************************************************************************************  
Later that night, Phoebe walked down to the kitchen looking for something to eat. She grabbed the carton of Double Chocolate Fudge Cookie Dough ice cream out of the freezer, and sat down on one of the bar stools to eat it. When she ate about half of it, she put the carton back.  
*************************************************************************************************  
Cole Turner drove down the highway toward his home. He hadn't been there in over a year. 'Why am I even going back?' he asked himself. He turned in the driveway, got out of the car, and walked up to the door. He turned the key in the lock and opened the door. 'Finally. Home.'  
*************************************************************************************************  
Phoebe was writing in her journal when she heard the key turn in the lock. Someone was breaking into her house! She dropped her journal and ran to the kitchen, grabbing a knife out of the big block on the counter. She stood in the hallway leading to the door as it opened, ready to defend herself if necessary. When the intruder crossed the threshold, she kicked him so hard that he flew back and hit the door.  
  
"Jesus Christ! Who are you?" Cole asked the person.  
  
Phoebe was in shock. It was dark, and she couldn't see anything. But she'd know that voice anywhere.  
  
"Cole?"  
  
Cole looked up at his visitor. He never thought he'd see her again. "Phoebe?"  
*************************************************************************************************  
"What are you doing here, Cole?" Phoebe asked, slightly angry.  
  
"I live here. What are you doing here?"  
  
"Well, I'm staying here for the week, at least until Prue gets married and I can go back to San Francisco. Wait, you mean this is your house? This amazing place? You live here?" Phoebe was rambling, but she didn't care.  
  
"Yeah. Prue's getting married?" Cole was interested in how things had been going.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
There was an awkward silence between them. Phoebe wasn't sure what to make of this situation. She was happy that Cole was here, but she wasn't sure how he would react to seeing her again. Was he still mad at her?  
  
"Well," Phoebe said, "it's late, so I'm gonna go back to bed. Delia and I will leave in the morning. I'm sure Prue won't mind if I stay with her this week."  
  
"No," Cole replied, "you can stay here for the week. I don't mind."  
  
"But I do."  
  
Phoebe walked up the stairs to where she was sleeping, not even realizing she had left her journal downstairs.  
*************************************************************************************************  
Cole walked into the sitting room and sat in the antique rocking chair that was there. He noticed the blanket that Phoebe had had wrapped around her. He rotated toward the stand next to him to turn out the light, and noticed Phoebe's journal laying on the floor open.  
  
He picked it up and started reading.  
  
"July 12, 2007  
I guess the last time I wrote was about 6 months ago. Well, I guess I should fill you in on everything that has happened. Yesterday, I got an invitation to Prue and Bane's wedding. To be honest I don't really like Bane. But as long as Prue's happy. At least my sisters are happy. Prue said that her wedding was going to be much like mine and Cole's was. I remember it very well. It was on the beach, and I was wearing a pale blue dress with spaghetti straps. There were purple roses everywhere, and I even had a seamstress sew purple rose petals onto my dress and into a carpet for the aisle. Prue and Piper were my maids of honor (who else?) I don't know if I'll be able to stay the whole time. I hope Prue will understand. So, I flew up here to Seattle this morning, and Prue tells me I'll be staying in a house that the owners haven't been in for over a year. It's such a pretty house and looks very expensive. Who wouldn't want to live here? I know I would. It makes me wonder where Cole is living. I miss him. But why wouldn't I? I love him. But I just wonder"  
  
The journal entry stopped mid-sentence. 'It's probably where she heard me breaking into the house,' Cole thought. He was on the verge of tears. 'She misses me. I shouldn't have left.'  
  
He closed the journal, put it on the table, turned off the light, and went upstairs to his room.  
*************************************************************************************************  
The next morning, Cole woke up to the smell of pancakes. He put on his robe and walked downstairs to the dining room. He found Phoebe and Delia sitting there eating mounds of them covered in butter and syrup.  
  
Without making eye contact with him, Phoebe said, "There's some for you in the kitchen. Help yourself."  
  
Delia looked up from her plate and ran to him. "Daddy!!" She jumped into his arms and gave him a big hug and kiss.  
  
Cole put her down and went into the kitchen to get breakfast. After eating, he walked into the living room to see suitcases sitting by the door.  
  
"What is all this? Going somewhere?" he asked Phoebe.  
  
"We're going to spend the rest of the week with Prue. I already called her and plans have been made."  
  
"Phoebe, I said you could stay here. I don't mind. It's not like I don't have enough room."  
  
"I don't know," she said. "I just wouldn't feel right. Right now is kind of awkward, too. And living with you after two years? I don't think so."  
  
"Phoebe, I insist. Stay, please?"  
  
''Let me ask Delia. Delia! Come here, honey?" Delia ran over to her mother, and Phoebe picked her up and whispered something in her ear. After Delia whispered something back, Phoebe looked at Cole and said, "Alright, we'll stay."  
  
"Good. I need to talk to you, maybe I can help you unpack?"  
  
"Uh, yeah, sure, that'd be great, I could use the help."  
*************************************************************************************************  
After they finished unpacking, Cole and Phoebe went down to the sitting room. Cole picked up her journal and handed it to her.  
"You left this down here last night. "  
  
"You read it, didn't you?" Inside she was hoping he would say yes.  
  
"Only a little bit of it. But I read enough of it. Why haven't you tried to find me if you missed me so much?"  
  
"Because I wasn't sure if you still loved me. I wasn't going to take that risk. I couldn't get my heart broken again."  
  
"You think that because of that little fight that we had that I didn't love you anymore? Phoebe, I could never stop loving you, you know that."  
  
He pulled Phoebe to him, but she backed away.  
  
"I'm sorry, Cole. This just doesn't feel right after so long."  
  
She turned and walked up the stairs, tucked Delia in bed, and went to her own room. She turned on her radio. The song was S Club 7, "Never Had A Dream Come True". Their song. The first song they ever danced to. Well, except for their first date at that salsa club. Phoebe smiled. So many memories. On the verge of tears, she turned off the radio. She heard Delia start crying and got up and walked to her room. When she got there, Cole was already there, comforting their daughter.  
  
Delia crawled up onto his lap, crying.  
  
"Tell Daddy what happened," Cole said, softly.  
  
"Bad dream," Delia said.  
  
Cole just held her and stroked her hair until she fell back asleep. He put her back into the bed and turned around to find Phoebe staring at him. Seeing her tear-streaked face, he comforted her the same way he did Delia. He led her back to her bedroom and caressed her back while wiping away the tears.  
  
"I'm sorry, Cole," she said after she stopped crying. "I should have trusted you."  
  
"Shh, don't talk about that now. just sleep."  
  
And that's what she did. And for the first time in two years, she did it in his arms.  
*************************************************************************************************  
Prue's wedding was beautiful. And Cole ended up going along. Everyone was overjoyed to see him, and him and Phoebe danced all night. When they returned home, Phoebe grabbed the carton of Double Chocolate Fudge Cookie Dough ice cream out of the freezer. Cole, Delia, and her ate the rest of the container, and Phoebe sent Delia to bed. Cole and Phoebe stayed up half the night talking about things that have happened in the last couple years. Then, they went to bed. Together.  
*************************************************************************************************  
Cole took Benjamin Coleridge, named after Cole's father, to his room and placed him in the cradle. He bent down to give Benjamin a kiss, and Phoebe came in the room, holding Delia in her arms.  
  
"Hey, honey, you shouldn't be up," Cole said, taking Delia from her and placing her in her bed. "You need to rest, you're still not well."  
  
"I know. I'm sorry. I'll go right now."   
  
As she turned to leave, Cole grabbed her by the arm and pulled her to him, his arms wrapped around her waist. "But since you're already up..."  
  
He kissed her softly, then turned her around so that they were both facing their children. "Are you happy, Cole?"  
  
"I'm married to a beautiful woman. I have two wonderful children. I couldn't be happier."  
  
"Good." Phoebe turned around and captured his lips in a passionate, but light kiss.  
  
Cole and Phoebe were together. After everything. And they would stay that way.  
  
Forever.  



End file.
